“Evolution of the self is not meant to be validated by others. There is no need for validation at all. You are here full and complete. You being your soul. Not necessarily you in the physical world. Nobody and nothing external needs to say yes in order for you to be who you are. You have your own yes to believe, trust and live by. So, live. So, be. Alive.” – Nora Boghossian
Just as the never-ending clock of time continues to tick, we as humans continue to evolve. It’s written from the very beginning of our history. We evolved from monkeys to cavemen to…you get the picture.
Each year we’re presented with new technology, new advances in modern medicine, new and increasingly efficient ways to do things. So as the world around us evolves, it seems natural that we should too.
Now for some, self-evolution is a wonderful and magical thing. Some of us love to know we will forever be changing into our best selves. We know that the older we get, the more life lessons we learn. We figure out ways to adapt to our surroundings, to the demands of our current lives.
For others, this concept can be extremely stressful.
I like to think that everyone fears change to a certain extent. Most people (I presume) would rather have at least a little bit of knowledge of what’s to come. However, there are those who want absolutely nothing to do with this whole “evolution” thing.
There’s nothing wrong with not being 100% thrilled about changing of the self. I understand that some people may really love who/how they are now, and that’s great. However, evolution is in our DNA. Our environments constantly change, so we too must adapt.
With such adaptations and changes, it’s expected that we would face certain fears. Change can bring about a lot of anxiety and questions. We start to doubt ourselves, doubt the process and doubt our abilities. Yet, self-evolution doesn’t have to be scary.
If you experience fear, anxiety or stress with becoming your best self, hop on the train. You are NOT alone in your struggle. Five of the biggest struggles I’ve noticed with my own transition, as well as my friends, are:
1. Fear of Others’ Opinions
“Will I be accepted?” For some reason even the most confident human beings are constantly looking for acceptance. No one wants to be a loner with no friends. No one wants to be misunderstood or rejected by their peers. However, evolving doesn’t mean your peers will change their opinion of you. If they truly love you, they will stick by you no matter what. Don’t let others’ opinions dictate who you really are.
“What if I don’t like the new me?” With change comes self-doubt. We become so terrified of the unknown that we make up scenarios in our heads. We list all of these unrealistic reasons of why change is bad, and we believe we won’t like who we’ve become. There’s nothing wrong with a little revamping every now and then. We must never let self-doubt consume us. Be confident in who you are, and everything else will fall into place.
3. Fear of Change
“What if I continue changing?” Listen, change is going to happen whether we like it or not. I always say that change can be a wonderful or terrible experience. The more we fight it, the more painful it can be. Yet when we embrace change, we find that it can be a beautiful experience. We change, we evolve, and ultimately we become the best version of ourselves…just like the caterpillar and butterfly.
4. Lack of Confidence
“What if I can’t embrace the new me?” This topic goes back to self-doubt. If you don’t believe in yourself, how is anyone else suppose to believe in you? Lack of confidence severely affects anxiety and depression. We get down on ourselves because we believe we’re unworthy. We think that we don’t deserve happiness, and we feel like we’re not meant to be a standout. All of these thoughts are untrue. We all deserve to be rockstars in our own right. Get out there, show the world your talents and shine bright like the diamond you are.
5. Negative Outlook
“Will this negatively affect my life?” Positive minds create positive vibes. This is seriously my mantra in life. Within the last year I realized just how important positivity can be. When we have a negative outlook on our evolution, it can hinder the process. If we worry about the opinions of others or doubt ourselves, we are ultimately creating an incredibly negative environment. Nothing can properly grow if not given the right surroundings. Therefore, we have to create a positive space to allow ourselves to transform.
While change and self-evolution bring about questions, concerns and fears, we must remember the light at the end of the rainbow. The journey may not be comfortable, it may not be perfect, but ultimately we’ll be grateful that we transitioned.
There’s nothing more rewarding than realizing you’ve become the person you always wanted to be. As children, we dream of who we’ll be when we grow up. There’s no reason to let your inner child down. Be the person your inner child would be proud of.
If there’s anything I’ve learned on my journey, it’s that we’re only guaranteed today. In life, it’s so easy to say “oh I’ll do that tomorrow,” but tomorrow may never come. Just remember that as tough as the journey may be, you’re never alone. Evolve into your best self, and let your rockstar soul shine.
Myka Shantell 💋