You Can’t Win Them All.

“You’re the type of woman a man should never let go of, you’re the type of woman men regret losing. Nothing about you is ordinary. Choose someone who knows this…never settle for less than you are…” – R.H. Sin

One thing I’ve come to truly understand as an adult is “you can’t win them all.” I’m one of those people that continues to fight for what I want despite the obstacles. Seriously, nothing stands in my way.

However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized I can say something over and over again until I’m blue in the face, but some people just don’t get it. It doesn’t matter how many ways I try to explain something, they just don’t understand.

This struggle is a deeply frustrating one for me. Like why can’t I just make them understand?

Feelings seem to be one of the hardest things to get across to others. If I say “I love you” then I love you. If you hurt me, apologize and don’t do it again. If I tell you I need you to support me then be there for me. It’s pretty simple.

I feel like these are really easy concepts to grasp, especially because I’m a point-blank kind of person. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s to be brutally honest. People aren’t mind readers, especially guys, so if you want or need something just come out and say it.

For most of my life I’ve known what I wanted for my future. I’ve always known a general direction of where I wanted to go and where I wanted to end up. My ultimate dream consists of success, love, family and happiness.

I feel like these dreams are pretty straightforward, but achieving them has been one of the hardest things in my life. It doesn’t matter how many times I look for love, get a good job or strive for happiness…as soon as I get one another slips out of reach.

Life is a balancing game, and Lord knows I’m a klutz. I guess I just haven’t quite mastered the art of balance yet.

Despite the fact that we can’t win them all, I have a feeling that it’s our job as humans to continue trying. We should strive to be open and honest. We should work toward being clear and blunt about what we want from others.

Beating around the bush and hoping someone gets the hint does nothing but cause us pain. When we feel misunderstood or unheard, it can cause a lot of problems in our relationships and friendships.

By being direct about what we want, we leave little to chance. Now, how someone responds to those wants and needs is a whole other story.

I’ve learned that being direct doesn’t always get us what we want. Sometimes it leaves us more confused and upset than we were in the first place. When we’re honest with others and those feelings aren’t reciprocated, it can really hurt.

I actually went through a situation like this in the last year.

The past year has been an enormous transformation for me. It’s completely challenged my thoughts, beliefs, dreams and everything I thought I knew about myself. There’s been a lot of uncertainty to say the least, but one thing I’ve always been certain of is love.

I’m a very compassionate, caring person. To me “I love you” isn’t only reserved for a significant other. I have friends and family that I love as well, and I’m not afraid to tell them that. I feel like love is something that should be shared and integrated into every part of life in some way.

So, this year I had someone that was very in and out of my life. I gave things way too many chances and usually ended up being the one that got hurt. Yet, for some reason I kept fighting. I told you I was stubborn.

After all of the back and forth I finally told them that we had to come up with a plan, or we had to let it go. I couldn’t deal with the uncertainty anymore. I don’t know how many times  I tried to explain what I wanted, but every attempt was misunderstood. They never got it.

It was really heartbreaking to realize that just because we’re certain about what we want, it doesn’t always work the way we hope. Even laying it out directly for someone doesn’t guarantee results. You just can’t win them all.

So the moral that I’ve taken away from my experience is to continue being open and honest about what I want in life. Just because it didn’t work out for me now doesn’t mean it won’t work out in the future.

There were times that I wanted to shut down and give up. There were moments that I felt like no one would get it, but there is someone out there that will understand. There’s someone who will comprehend what you want from them, and they’ll be able to give you what you need.

That will be the person you’ve always wanted in your life. That moment will make all you’re losses worth while. In the end you’ll be so happy that you continued to pursue your dreams and lived life with an honest heart.

Don’t let one little defeat keep you from all of the wonderful things that are in store. Ultimately, you can’t win them all.

XOXO,
Myka Shantell💋

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