“Surround yourself with the dreams and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmund Lee
I realized today that I’ve been single for an entire year, 365 days of only me. If you know me you know this is a huge deal because the last 10 years of my life have been consumed with non-stop long term relationships.
To be honest, I look back on this last year and realize how truly life changing it’s been. This has been the most hectic, lonely, vulnerable, exciting, challenging, heartbreaking, breathtaking phase of my life.
I started the year by leaving a toxic 2 year relationship, packing my bags, and moving to a brand new city. I transported my life to a place where I knew no one and started a new job at a prestigious hospital. I left the security of my family, friends, and a town that had been my home for 25 years. Looking back now, what the hell was I thinking?
To this day I still don’t understand where I got the guts to take this huge leap of faith. As I’ve told my new friends my story, they all seem to have one common response. They each tell me how brave I am. I never really understood why they said that, until now.
I’m really proud of myself for taking a chance on a new start, a new life. It does take a lot of courage to leave everything you’ve ever known for an unknown future. When I first moved here, I kept wondering if I’d made a mistake. I constantly worried that I’d ruined my life, and for a while I let my fear get the best of me.
It’s taken me almost the entire year to finally start finding true happiness in my current life. A few years ago I had a crystal clear dream of what I wanted for my future. I wanted to be married, buy a house, have a baby, and travel.
Sometimes I catch myself grieving that alternative life I thought I’d be living, but recently I’ve began to notice signs of why my life hasn’t turned out that way. At least not yet.
There were many times over the last year that I felt so incredibly sad and lonely. I would curse and yell at God, blaming him for my despair. I had nights that I cried for hours just wishing someone was there to hold me. I know it sounds gloomy, but my emotions run very deep and sometimes dark.
It wasn’t until this “year” mark of being single that I realized there was a bigger purpose to my pain. God has been molding me into the best version of myself in preparation for all the wonderful things my future has to offer.
For so long I tried to fill a void in my life with romance thinking that loving someone else would bridge the gap. This past year I’ve learned to surround myself with positivity and fill that emptiness with self-love.
See, the thing about self-love is no one can ever take it away from you. No one can ruin the compassion you have for yourself. It’s a sacred and beautiful thing, but it also takes a lot of time and practice to master.
I truly believe I’m a good person. I know I have plenty of flaws, but I try to do the right thing and live each day to the fullest. In some weird way I thought being a good person automatically meant I’d end up with Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Yet, I’m learning that life is about so much more.
It’s about loving yourself and those around you. It’s about doing the right thing because you want to, not because you have to. Life is about helping others in need and adapting to your circumstances.
It’s about surrounding yourself with good genuine people who want to see you happy. It’s about chasing your dreams and waiting for the right person to come along. It’s about living.
It frustrates me to no end that in our society being 25 years old and single is like a death sentence. Yes, I am 25 years old. No, I’m not married. No, I don’t have kids. No, I don’t have a boyfriend. So what?
It’s time for our generation to wake up and realize we are unique. Stop trying to fit into a mold just because society says you should. Do the things you love to do, travel the world, follow your dreams. Surround yourself with good people, and you’ll be amazed at how much of a positive difference it makes in your life.
After a year of just me I now realize what’s really important. My new goals don’t depend on a ring or a man, they stem from a deep desire to do what’s best for me. My soul is finally free, and I’m ready to follow my dreams wherever they may take me.
If there are people in your life that are holding you back or not contributing to your happiness, delete them from your life. Wash away the negativity, and you’ll see the world in a whole new light. If you’re struggling with loneliness just take life a day at a time. There is someone for everyone. When it’s right you’ll know, and you’ll be so glad you waited.