Well the time has almost come, the day that I officially embrace being a quarter-century old. I must admit, I thought my life would be WAY different by the time I hit the big 2-5, but heck life is unpredictable so I’m just rolling with the punches.
My previous ideal plan of my life (at 25) was married, a somewhat well-known singer, possible mother, friend to many, living in my hometown, and a frequent traveler. In reality I am currently a single, barely known singer working a full time nursing job to pay my bills with no kids (just a fur child named Lambeau) and few true friends living in a new city with very little time to travel.
Man, life has really changed course on me. However in my short 24 years and 359 days on this Earth I have seen and learned a lot, especially in the last few months. So to commemorate this milestone in my journey to living a LONG full life, I have decided to share 10 (anxious) thoughts, 10 life lessons, and 5 feelings I have about turning 25.
1.) I THOUGHT I Would’ve Been Married By Now
This is definitely the biggest thing that has hit me. I could’ve sworn on the Bible I would’ve found my soulmate by now. This has been something that is still really hard for me to accept. As much as I know I must be patient, I’ve definitely had feelings of hopelessness. However, I know the right one will be worth the wait.
2.) I THOUGHT I Would Still Live In My Hometown
Being raised in a town with approximately 600 people, you come to accept that most people will never leave that small community. I would estimate that 75% of people raised in/around my town will never leave. I am so proud that I took the leap and am able to experience this new side of life.
3.) I THOUGHT My Singing Career Would Be Further Along
Something I was really excited about with moving to a bigger city was taking my music career to the next level, but I got a reality check REAL quick. It’s going to take me a while to figure out how to make myself successful in the music industry, but believe me I’m not giving up.
4.) I THOUGHT I Would’ve Already Figured Myself Out
While I’m obviously going through a transition right now, my “old self” would never believe that I didn’t have my “new self” figured out already. Throughout this process I’ve realized there were a lot of things I stuffed down inside, and now it’s time to work on all those issues I’ve hidden for far too long.
5.) I THOUGHT I Would Already Have Children
This is a big one for me as well. Almost everyone in my family had children at a young age, and with my huge compassionate heart I have always longed to have kids. However, looking back on it now I am so happy God didn’t grant me this wish. I can’t imagine life right now as a single mother, full time nurse, and singer trying to figure everything out.
6.) I THOUGHT My Path Would Be Clearly Defined
I thought by now I would surely see my purpose in life as clear as a beautiful diamond. That’s definitely not the case. I’m almost more confused now that I’ve really started digging into who I am and what I want to accomplish. I’m still waiting for that flashing sign from God to say “this is what you should do.”
7.) I THOUGHT I Would Own A House
I thought at this point in life my perfect little family and I would live in a beautiful big house with a white picket fence. Nope, that hasn’t happened either. But for now, my 1 bed 1 bath apartment will do just fine. My bills are cheaper anyways.
8.) I THOUGHT I Was A Stronger Person
I would’ve bet a million dollars that I was a stronger person than I currently am. I think I was able to act “strong” when I was younger because it was a type of coping mechanism. No one can mess with someone who is strong (or so I thought). Now that I’ve broken down my walls, I realize I’m not as strong as I once thought…but I AM getting there.
9.) I THOUGHT I Could Save The World
One of my dreams has always been to make a HUGE impact on the world. While I believe I am making somewhat of an impact on a smaller scale, I now realize that no matter what I do I can’t save the world. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying though.
10.) I THOUGHT Life Wouldn’t Be So Tough
This is an emotional one for me. I never realized just 5 years ago that life would be this tough. I knew becoming an adult was no walk in the park, but reality definitely hit me like a rock. I never knew heartbreaks and let downs could be so painful. I never realized life could be so lonely. Lets just say I will never underestimate adult life again.
11.) I’ve LEARNED to never let someone take you for granted
12.) I’ve LEARNED to always put yourself first
13.) I’ve LEARNED that not everyone has your best interest at heart
14.) I’ve LEARNED that life can be scary, and it’s okay to be scared
15.) I’ve LEARNED that true love takes time and patience, wait for it
16.) I’ve LEARNED that real friends will stick by you no matter what
17.) I’ve LEARNED that family always comes first
18.) I’ve LEARNED to not care what other people think
19.) I’ve LEARNED to never say never
20.) I’ve LEARNED to always thank God for your blessings
21.) I FEEL like now is the time for me to truly find myself
22.) I FEEL like my life is this way for a reason (no kids, single, ect)
23.) I FEEL like God has big plans for me this coming year
24.) I FEEL like 25 is not a death sentence, it’s a chance to start over
25.) I FEEL like 25 is going to KICK ASS!
Well 24, you’ve been great. I’ve experienced some of my biggest highs and my lowest lows with you this year. I’ve felt heartbreak, moved to a new city, started a new job, started this blog, and began this amazing journey to finding out my purpose and who I really am.
I’ve smiled and I’ve cried. I’ve finally let go and trusted myself. In the coming year I hope to become a stronger person and put myself first. I plan to apply all that I’ve learned so far to live the most exciting and beautiful life that I can. 24, you were great but 25, it’s time to shine!